And so. . .it's Mother's Day

I wonder how many of us just heave a heavy sigh at Mother's Day?
Don't get me wrong, I love my Mom - sometimes I can't stand her, true, but I still love her.
I just hate the "expectations" of it all. Fix or take out to the perfect dinner. Then you sit there obssessing over every fault they find with whatever it is.

I wonder when we overcome our "mothers"? Honestly, why is it that everything feels like a criticism when they truly may only be sharing ideas.? Honestly, also, why do they persist in criticizing even when you are a grown-up? And - WHY DO I CARE?

I am so diametrically different than my mother. For one thing - I don't talk all the ever-loving time. I think because on my job all I do all day is talk that I have an aversion to it as a form of recreation. I wake up in the morning and would LOVE to have total silence - except for the Channel 2 news. And I'm scared to say "Good Morning' because at that point we're off to the races where she can keep up a continuous dialog, by herself, for (I've timed this) 40 minutes. Then, when you come home from work and just want to kick back in silence and watch t.v. - she talks during the show and is silent during the commercial. She has become the person who used to drive her crazy: My great Aunt. Mom complained about the exact same things in my great-aunt that she now does herself. Have I dared point this out? NO WAY.

That's why I crave and covet aloneness. I do not now need, nor have I ever needed, constant human contact. I like my time alone - it rejuvenates me. I like silence. I like it when my thoughts count only as my thoughts and are not interacted with and I'm given time to mull them over and ponder them without outside interaction or criticism. If you taught children - you'd understand. I never get to have a single thought without someone else asking a question over it or trying to referee other opinions about it. It's just bliss to sit and do nothing - to think - or not to think - whichever you want.

Don't get me wrong. I adore being with my friends. My really good friends understand that sometimes I just "hit my wall" and need to leave. I also enjoy talking to them about any and everything because my opinions are usually accepted as mine. What annoys me about people with whom you are talking (and I do this too, so, preaching to the choir) is when you make a statement like "You know, they do that because it's the best way to go." And then your friend or whomever totally negates your statement by opening their next statement with, "No, that's not it." Like your statement is incorrect because theirs is more correct. I am so aware of not negating ideas because I spend all day saying - "That's an interesting idea. Tell me how you came up with it. Let's hear some more ideas." Not, "No, that's wrong." You have to understand I don't teach math - so there are no definite rights or wrongs in my world. There are a few - but misquoting the Constitution isn't something that you can debate. Most ideas are debateable and seldom if ever is any one idea entirely right or wrong.

Well - now that I have cooked an incredible Mother's Day dinner (I'm a great cook - don't tell anyone) I think I'll check out a chat room, check out Facebook and then read a book.

Rambling rose,
PJ